Concealed Carry Drills for Couples – “Stay or Go”

Concealed Carry Drills for Couples

“Stay or Go”

I have heard a few different people in my life say “My spouse knows exactly what to do if we are in public and I have to draw my gun – and all it takes is two words ‘stay’ or ‘go“.

The scenario is that you and your significant other (SO) are out in public somewhere and you are the concealed carry holder and your SO may not be. An Active Shooter or something similar has happened and you now have to respond with your weapon drawn. Does your SO know what to do? Several sources of mine have mentioned boiling the training down to two simple options, which I love, Keep It Simple Stupid.

“Bf/Gf drills aka Stay or Go”

As either an off duty Military member, or Law Enforcement officer, or just as equally important – the prepared concealed carry holder, you are walking hand in hand with your loved one somewhere in public.

They know your agreed upon procedure and they’ve already been briefed and hopefully trained on what to do when the gunfight starts.

You hear the unmistakable “Pow, Pow ….Pow” of a gunfight, and maybe you see a real threat that puts your life in danger.


You know that there are NOT multiple exits available and not much cover and you have made the decision to get involved using your weapon and you have made the split second decision that in this case the threat is immediate and/or unknown and your SO stands the best chance of survival by staying by your side.

You either say loudly “Stay” and they know the drill. OR if it makes tactical sense to not speak you can grab their hand, pull their body behind yours and have them grab the back of your shirt or your belt, because…

An example of the “STAY” procedure is as follows:

  • When I say “Stay”, and my tone changes, and my gaze narrows, and I squeeze your hand firmly, and I pull your body and place your hand on the back of my belt…
  • Your job is to stand directly behind me, hold on to me and use my body as a bullet shield, and where I move you move. Period.
  • If I fall to the ground you immediately run as fast as you can in any direction and you do not check on me or come back for me.
  • You then carry out our agreed upon 911 procedures…
  • 911 – Answer all their questions, AND be sure to include MY name, MY physical and clothing description, the fact that I am armed and engaging the bad guys, and to please not shoot me. Sounds funny right? This is actually REALLLLLY important to talk about before bad shit happens.

This is a BASIC set up for your STAY procedures. You can tailor it however it fits you and your partner.


As the primary gunfighter you have discovered that you now HAVE to get involved but the threat may be very limited in its numbers or in it’s geographic location. You know that there is good cover and multiple (or clear) escape routes for your Significant Other. They have been briefed and they know what to do. You decide that they need to GTFO because that is their best chance of survival.


Their job:

  • Run, don’t walk, as far away as you can.
  • Bring any children or other loved ones with you and direct them.
  • Once you are in an area that you can do so, safely dial 911…
  • Answer all the dispatcher’s questions including my name, my physical description, the fact that I have pulled my weapon and am engaging bad guys, and for responding officers to not shoot me.

Things to consider

Does your partner concealed carry with you? If so this drill will still work but now you can modify it to include things like triangulating, two-person clearing, selecting and directing a 911 caller based on positioning, providing cover fire etc just by plugging in different protocals into this drill

This is a GREAT way to get your loved ones to a range that will accommodate running and gunning, even if they don’t want to shoot. Or if they DO want to shoot you can switch roles and have fun etc. Remember to be fucking safe!

If you just can’t manage to get your loved one to the range with you, you can still run this drill inside your own home with non-guns, or even with pretend finger guns. A dry run will still help you fully explain your expectations back and forth, and allow for a much better open forum of communication.

Jesus…EVEN if they don’t wanna play pretend in the living room you can still have this discussion in a loving and open manner.

ANNNNNNND (omg I know right?) EVEN if they just straight up “Don’t wanna talk about it” then if the shit hits the fan and you have to engage a threat in public you can still drag your SO behind you during the gunfight, or shove them the fuck away from you before you draw.

*That is something that I REALLY really like about this drill is it’s simplicity and robust-ness. You can plug and play SO many protocols while still keeping it fucking simple.

Thanks SO much for spending some time here.




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