“I don’t know what is taking you people so long. I was able to do it in FIVE minutes!” – Some idiot O-4
Here’s the setup: There is BS training that has to get done ASAP. God, I can’t even move forward yet because there are so many problems with that first line. The “Training” isn’t real training. I was at a unit with a name like “Base Security Unit xxy”. The important “Training” that this O-4 was going nuts about had nothing to do with being on a “base” or providing any “security”. The training was a long list of things like Sexual Harassment Awareness, Diversity Training, Civil Rights training (which was just a different title for Diversity Training), Government Charge Card training, etc. And even any of THIS training didn’t teach us shit. You sit there and because you’re short on time you just click “Next, next, next” on your mandatory powerpoint training to get to the multiple choice questions at the end. Now, the whole ASAP problem. The training isn’t due until 90 days fro now but our command “Wants” it to be completed in the next 3 days. I swear to god, that’s the whole story. The training is useless and the time line is made up. Moving on.
We had about 150 people at the unit. About 60-80 operators that did the fucking job. About 20-30 in administrative roles. About 30-40 were “Officers”… so basically useless. The 80 operators had to share 6 computers that were in a big open common space where you can be interrupted every 2 minutes be everybody and their mothers. OH, fun fact, about 3 of the 6 computers were always broken. It takes about 10 full fucking minutes to log on, and if you’re just slightly more important than most of the operators, like lets say an E-6 while most operators were E-5 and below, than you could leave your account locked on a computer in the common space and walk away.
*** Uncensored Principle: “The most important people that perform the mission are the least important people” (It should NOT be this way, but it’s a fact of bureaucracy. And if you are aware of it than maybe you can use your influence to combat it)
So everybody is rounded up and sitting in their plastic chairs in the Drill Hall (old basketball court) as our “Commander” (a complete waste of life) walks in and stands up like he is fucking Gen Patton with a backdrop of a huge ass American flag. He then talks about how important our BS training is then has the balls to say to us, like children:
“I don’t know what is taking you people so long. I was able to complete ALL of my online training in less than 40 minutes!” – Commander O-5.
Well…. you ASSHOLE… YOU have your own office with it’s own door where people are not authorized to bother you. You have your OWN computer that you don’t have to wait to log in to but once in the morning. And here we are, begging for our command to fix our three broken computers that have been broken for literally six months and still nothing. OF FUCKING COURSE you got all of your stupid internet powerpoint awareness training courses done. You fucking dick.
So my principle “The important people are the least important” really covers a lot of real life issues. How can you use this principle in real life?
- It goes both ways (that’s what she said). It means that the important people “The Command” is the least important in accomplishing the mission; this is actually a fact and should be remembered by anybody involved in making decisions.
- It ALSO means that the most important people “The Gunfighters” are treated as the least important people when it comes to schedules and perks and hours and bonuses and recognition. If you pay attention you will find this treatment in MOST large bureaucracies.
- It has a secondary layer that acts as a LENSE in which to look through as a leader. “What if I was the one that had to keep waking up early to go see admin during my sleep time?”
Thanks for attending Uncensored Tactical’s mandatory internet training for the day.