Oh “Instructor School” is a requirement? Interesting.

OK. So. No shit, there I was. Department is broke so they can’t pay me over-time pay. So I missed a whole shift on the streets so that I could attend “really freaking important” annual training. It started out great: Learned an intro to Riot Control for about 4.5 hours of Powerpoint. Now my file says I have attended the Riot Control class. WooHoo! What my file DOESN’T say is (The instructor literally said “Well this is the last class I’m teaching for the year, and this is the part we’re supposed to go outside and practice these techniques, so we’re just going to skip that part, enjoy lunch!”)

We’re going to leave that whole thing alone, but let’s note *in other lessons we will SURELY talk about the difference between certifications and skills. They are NOT interchangeable terms.

Then we as LEO’s listened to a fat guy talk to us about nutrition.

We’re going to table that as well (pun intended bitches).

The meat and potatoes of today’s lesson (I crack myself up, man how stupid right? I mean, who is the guy at the company that says “We need someone to go teach these cops about our nutrition program and dieting… YOU! Fat guy! Go teach these cops that our program works!”. I’d like to meet that boss. I’d pull an old-school Donald Trump on his ass “You’re Fired”. But I’d do it real nonchalant and cool like. Also I’d fire the fat-nutritionist along with the guy that said he’s the man for the job.) …is… Hypocrites! Yayyyyyy!

This fucking culture in this country is broken. There are only a very few tactical jobs (or any government job, or even civilian for that matter) out there that make fucking sense and where real, true, critical thinkers and hard workers fit in. Today’s final presentation was about not dying on the job. Now you’re talking my language! That I can get in line with. Exxxxxcept…

“You need to drive slower. Although. I know that you sometimes MUST drive fast. But you’ve got to use good advanced driving techniques.” Ohh Ohh! Question. I’ve never been taught driving techniques for LEO operations. Well I did in the academy but we literally were disqualified if our cars went above 30mph. And that was only once. Also I did at the agency I’m with now, but that was a long time ago and … oh…. also we were not allowed to drive fast. We literally trained in a shopping mall parking lot. Speed was not encouraged. So after being told that we need to be constantly improving and to avoid “avoidable” deaths, we were not offered any extra advanced tactical driving training. So. It’s easy to SAY that we need to stay alive and change our culture to help keep cops alive, but, I see no one in sight that is giving me an option for improvement.

So that’s where your taxpayer money goes folks. Take cops off the streets for a shift, to give them training so that their DEPARTMENTS can cover their own asses, offer no REAL training to help make a difference, and carry on carrying on.

My favorite quote from class was from my “Change the Culture and Keep Cops Alive” instructor. As follows:

“You never know when shit will hit the fan. We were ALL issued vests here, even in administrative LEO jobs! You BETTER always wear your vests and bring your guns, there’s no excuse. Even in police stations there are shootings. You better be prepared! ESPECIALLY when your shirt is a target and a billboard for shoot-me”.

-He had a shirt that said Law Enforcement on it. No gun. No badge. No vest.

Oh yeah, real easy to change this culture… I’ll get right on that.

-KM

Oh P.S. I’m not done yet.

Instructor Principle:

*If you want to encourage participation in the class you are teaching, you might not want to ostracize every person that raises their hand to participate. Just sayin, this shit ain’t rocket-surgery…

OK. Done.